i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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