After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
