i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
