O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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