just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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