At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
