I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
