Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
