he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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