About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
