That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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