Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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