This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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