If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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