I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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