is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
