U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
