I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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