There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
