oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
