Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
