You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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