Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
