Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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