billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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