i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
