omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize