Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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