Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
