the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you win again, gameday.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
