im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
