Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
