She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
