how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
