somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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