Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
