Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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