you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
