haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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