Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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