So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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