Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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