3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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