if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
