is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
