So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
