I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
