Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
