I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
