I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
