you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
