Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
