porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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