He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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