I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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