i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize