if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
