Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize