I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize