He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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