Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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