Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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