You're my little dorito
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
