Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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