So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
