This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hippo gnu deer
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
