I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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