Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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