i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
