i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
