They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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